I helped a friend out

and in return acquired these:



LOVE LOVE LOVE musical instruments! Thank you Steenie <3

Freshly shorn

I am so sorry dear readers [if you are still out there!] that I have not posted in eons. I have had some personal stuff going on, which I may write about in the future.

BUT!~

Don't despair. Jackjack got his first haircut this week.



Pre-chop, upon being woken up from his nap.



The after. <3 The cuteness. Doesn't he look like an early Alex??

Garden Gnome

Rocks, eggs, & utter nonsense.

DUDE!!! My littlest brother is ENGAGED!!!! He came home from some overseas Marine training & popped the question to his lovely girlfriend...




YES! Congratulations Leonard & welcome to the family, Liz! {I get another sister! woot!}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


In Easter news... Dylan tried his hardest to find as many eggs as possible at Auntie Jessie's house. Alex got whacked in the balls [accidentally, apparently] by Uncle Dusty, Jack barely napped & Fredward and I ate until we were full. Fredward ate until he was past full, and ready to explode. We got to see Fred & Jessie's dad [Grampa Burnham] & the kidlets were very excited about that. Aunt Joyce got some great photos of the kiddos.. especially Jack & Jill[ian].

Jack & Jill! She's 6 weeks older than jackjack... hopefully these two will get along great.


Here are some that Fredward & I took....

of the boys...

and.. nobody is looking. Typical.


My sister [in-law] Jessie...


and Jackjack's first Easter egg hunt.

Taking an egg snack break.

Playtime with Robert & Alex.

Hope your Easter was just as great!

Attention Stefiny:

Its been a long minute, hasn't it? I'm sorry; really, I am. I've been busy & caught up in life. While I haven't any stories to share, I do have some impromptu child photos for you. Alex needed pics with him & his brothers for a school project & upon not finding any suitable ones, I orchestrated a quick family [ok, just the boys] photo op.

It was interesting... lets just leave it at that.







:sigh:

For some strange reason, Alex [being the voice of "reason" here] thought that it would be easy to orchestrate this... after all, Dylan & Jack 'pose' for pictures all the time.



See how well that worked out Alex? Yea.

So there you are, Steph [and anyone else who was itching for a cuteness craving].

Happy Valentine's Day.

I love you, schmoopy-poo.

Ode to a Poor Lamenting Soul

Oh for the love of all things holy. And blue. And wrapped in camouflage, run over with cars and trampled through mud.

Affixed with Nerf guns, pellet guns, matchbox cars and a multitude of transformers that can only be transformed because you saved the directions. Thankfully.

I am so glad... :exhales sharply: ...that I have sons. Boys. You know; play-in-the-dirt, blast 'em, rock 'em-sock'em wrestling matches, nonstop discussions about balls, farts, penises and the increasingly common only-because-you-did-it-to-yourself-completely-overdone-grampa-pants-which-has-now-turned-into-something-I've-coined-as 'Man-toe'. Think on that for a minute.

Yep, that would be the male version of the female counterpart: 'camel toe'.

All of that nonsense and foolishness I can handle. Its nuts, stupid and supremely funny at times, and other times, its annoying, so I feign the need for 'girl time'. I don't really have to fake it. I do need it. Just a smidgen. I call my girls. You are loved, and you know who you are.

What I cannot handle:

7 year old girls crying over the band-aid that has fallen off of her 1/4" cut on her hand. That she got like 2 days ago. OMG!!! It still HURTS!!!!!

And the waterworks come on.... and on.... and on... and OMFG WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO STOP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Backstory:

I volunteer one day per week at Dylan's school. I help out in the class room, as needed, keeping the kidlets on track moving from center to center, making sure they stay on track with their 'required' centers. Some kids are great- they get down to work right away- makes my time volunteering a breeze. Some kids need a little nudging and often encouragement. And then there are those few... those select few -you teachers know EXACTLY what I am talking about here- who you seriously want to slap and or shake the shit out of. Those would be the drama queens.



{OH LOOK! I'M A POOR, LAMENTING SOUL!} NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME! WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE .... OH, LOOK AT MY SCAR! MY [INSERT BODY PART HERE] HURTS!!!!! I [WHINE] HAVE NO FRIENDS! WHINE WHINE WHINE



Sidebar:
For fucks sake, our teaching staff does not get paid nearly enough to deal with this bullshit on a daily basis. Fredward thinks I don't have a heart. [There is more to that, but that is another time] I just don't have the patience- nor the tolerance level- to deal with 'OMG, I'm injured/I hurt myself 3 days ago... I'm still in pain & did i mention I'm 7???' No. Can't do it. Won't do it. I have a window. A very small window. You [said child] have a very short window of opportunity to plead your case & extract sympathies from me.

Let's say 5 minutes, shall we? And you had better pray to your all mighty that I am feeling sympathetic that day, because I might just grant you the full Five Minutes. If I'm not, I'm over your problems in like 2 minutes. And you had better be too. I don't have time to coddle you for an hour [like someone's little princess this morning], and sit you in my lap, pet your hair and put my full attention on you. Uh... in case you haven't noticed, the sun, nor the earth revolve around YOU. They don't revolve around me either, so deal with it. Time to suck it up, work through the pain [real, imagined or exaggerated] and get over it. Show's over folks! Move on.

Back to the Back story:

Okay, so I helped out in Dylan's class today, and yes, there was a little girl who was going on & on & on about this cut. I got her a replacement band aid, kissed the area [her palm], offered to go home & get my knives to cut off her hand, hell- I even flicked the wound for good measure. The flicking apparently set off the waterworks, because you know it just hurts so much!!! And then I was forced to deal with this girl who then would not get to work- or basically work period once I entered the class [before the flicking & the threatening to cut off the appendage. Seriously, with boys, I at least get a smile, if not a giggle at the thought of me wielding a knife to cut off their hands.]. She kept arguing with a boy, who happened to follow her from station to station [in her defense, he wouldn't let up either]. I think they were in the same reading group, but whatever. So I wander around the class, helping kids sound out words, making sure everyone stays on track, picks up after themselves, get them to squirrel out the glue sticks and fallen pencils from under the table checking in on everyone. The entire hour- whining, distracted, and eventually the tears from this little girl. I asked Dylan when he got home if she finally stopped crying. 'Yea, but it took a long time. Like, she stopped after Music! That's a long time!' Apparently crying over a 1/4 inch paper cut [okay, she cut her hand on the piano, but I digress] and getting over it, can take an entire day. W.T.F.

Let me tell ya; I feel sorry for this girl's parents. Not because she's a whiny first grader. But because she will easily be the hottest girl in class when she's older. She has the most beautiful eyes, and a very charming smile, and she really really needs you. She's going to get her heart broken and she's going to break many of hearts. She's needy and clingy, and wants YOU to focus on her- only her- because if you don't, she won't have a good day! :sad face: Honey, I know you really like when I come to class; I know that Dylan tries to be your friend. You don't have to try and monopolize my attention while I am in your class though. YOU are special- I'm sure your parents have told you; you along with EVERYONE ELSE in your class. I know one day she'll probably read this, because nothing gets erased off the Internets, but I don't care. I didn't mention her name anyways. I wouldn't want to call her [or her parents] out on the world wide weird anyways. She'll encounter enough obstacles without my assistance.


For the love of god, she had better not date my kid. Though, if Dylan stays true to his word [I don't even know how to feel about this] he won't have a girlfriend until he's 18. He just doesn't want one until then.

Although, I do believe he eats lunch with her.


I give kudos to the parents who have girls; whether its one or several. My cousin and his wife have 5 - count 'em- FIVE- girls. I certainly don't have the patience for that. My ass would have been locked up in the loony bin YEARS ago, had I birthed a daughter. Can't do fart jokes? I can! Things I can't do: barbies, boobies, dress up [unless I'm shopping for myself], and god-forbid: the dreaded menstrual cycle. No fucking thank you. I had to go through it myself; that was traumatizing enough. Can't do it. I went so far as to have my female dog fixed the moment she was old enough so I didn't have to go through any unplanned pregnancies with her.


No sirree, no girls for me. Thankfully, no more baby(s).

dog pillow

Exhibit A [circa 2007]:


Exhibit B [circa 2010]:

On to the next one

Its been a minute, hasn't it? Sorry folks, for keeping you waiting. I've been a little preoccupied for a bit.

:Reads own blog to see where I'd left off:

Ah yes. Holidays! They were wonderful, awkward and delicious; just as they are every year. The kidlets received the gifts they wanted this year- which, as any parent knows, is immensely difficult. The eldest received the ca$h he so badly wanted to use toward purchasing one of the few remaining golf clubs he needs to finish the set. My mommy's boy* [more on that in a minute] received the ultimate bad-ass transformer: devastator! RAWR!!! It's only the coolest transformer ever... its 5 separate transformer that turn into one!! OMG!!! I've only been hearing about this damn transformer since last year. :exhales: Thanks :) And the baby monster got all sorts of toys he has absolutely no interest in. He's mobile now, so he loves to crawl & pull up on whatever he can to walk around. His favorite things to play with are diapers, Tupperware [natch], and the t/v remote when he can get a hold of it. He likes to remove the batteries & then crawl around the living room with them in his fists. And if you should catch him, he crawls as fast as he can away from you. Such a little shyster.



warning: cuteness ahead.



Some recent pics [recent being the last week or so]...


We went to the World of Wheels & saw this car & it just screamed Alex. I insisted he take a picture with it.



Jack jack has discovered the joy of eating fresh fruit! He really loves applesauce, and now that he has four little chicklets!, I've been giving him more 'people' food. I peeled an apple & gave it to him to gnaw on..



... & he was soo excited to have it!


ah... Dylan. He woke me up this morning after a botched attempt at a sleepover [mommy issues- he missed me!]- and told me he wanted to call over there right away. Apparently there was going to be some temporary hair dye action& he was all about being a part of it.


In case you can't see; Dylan's hair & 1/2 blue & 1/2 purple. E-man's is green. AWESOMELY green. This boy has naturally super dark brown hair, so it was a feat for Erin, I'm sure of it- to get it that color.


**Topic Change: Mommy's boy**


But first, a sidebar:


Now, earlier in the school year Dylan came home & told me that the wrestling coaches came in & he was all excited because he got to wrestle a second-grader!! whoa! I know. Dylan + Wrestling= ???? , you ask? Yea, I know. But he was excited. He seemed excited.. and then the excitement started to wain. I tried to get him excited about it.. practice started in the beginning of December. He was just not having it. He tried for a month or so, but sometime between those last practices & after Christmas vacation, he was totally having an issue. I tried a wrestling clinic, to help pique his interest, perhaps learn some skills- but no. We did kids' club night, but his heart wasn't in it. He really wanted to quit. I had him tell coach & the coach tried to talk him out of it. I tried to talk him out of it. Other parents- and some of his friends- tried to talk him out of it, but he remained firm on his decision. He quit wrestling after a month. And yes, I let him. I'm not going to force it upon him, as I would force him to try a new vegetable. I tried, several times, and he did not like it. And that is okay. Maybe in a couple of years he'll be interested in it again, but then again, maybe not.


Dylan is a mommy's boy through and through. He'll freely admit it; whenever I'm not around, he asks whomever he is with- Where's Mom? When is my Mom going to be here? I miss my Mom. When is Mom coming home?

Those last few times at wrestling practice- he was under the impression that Fred or I were going to forget him or leave him at practice. He freaked out one evening [when I happened to be staying for a parent meeting] and was escorted out of the gym in hysterics, crying and saying he missed his mom. And here I am, walking back inside, magazine in hand. I got him to finish the last 10 minutes of practice that day after pleading, consoling, cajoling, and any other method I could think of to get him back in there. No dice. The boy hasn't wrestled since. I did take him to practice once, but that was the day he told coach he wanted out.

So- the sleepover. He's slept at E-man's house several times before, but I had the feeling. You just know- that feeling; I was actually waiting for the call. I knew, shortly after I dropped him off, that I would be getting a phone call: Dylan wants his mom! Awwww!!! And I did... 11pm or so... 'Dylan is crying & says he misses his mom!' No prob- I go out & pick him up- he's only 5 minutes from home & I invited him to sit in the front seat on the ride home. We snuggled on the couch together & fell asleep. We made brownies when I came home from work this evening, too.

I think he's been going through some serious mommy withdrawls since Jack jack has came around. Jack & Dylan are totally different kids at that stage; for example- Jack is totally at ease with his sitters, and Dylan still freaked out that I was leaving him in the care of someone else. Even if its Fredward; Jack could care less & I'm the only one good enough for Dylan. Oh well. I love him dearly, but I do hope it's just a phase! I tried so hard to instill independence, but sometimes I guess they just need mom.

Welcome to a New Year.

It's 2010. I've resolved to make a better life for myself and my family, no matter how many hours I have to work, how many jobs I have to work, or how little sleep I get. I will continue to create art & self-promote. I want to make as much $$ as I can to pay off that damn student loan, pay off Fred's loan, and be able to take a vacation.

Finally.

Or perhaps, a honeymoon?

[WHAT?! you say?? I know, we've been married for 6 years & haven't taken a honeymoon. I, - er-, We blame the kids.]

Any-who, to properly usher in the New Year, here are some cute pics of my kids!!