Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lady Luck is pissing in my pond.

If lady bugs are supposed to be lucky, are they holding a conference in my kitchen right now to decide on how much luck I actually get? Must they crawl through the cracks in the window sills, and just 'hang out' on any unsuspecting glass just sitting on the counter? Or dive bomb me, Pearl Harbor- style, as I walk up my stairs? Anywho, just have your little meeting while I sit here wondering how long it will be before you decide to join my food on the stove & spoil a perfectly good meal.

Did you ever have a ladybug in your glass or food & not notice it until you TASTED it?? OOOhhh, it is all sorts of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Did I mention that Dylan used to be TERRIFIED of lady bugs as a kid? TERRIFIED!! Of Ladybugs!!

:Warning--> Topic change <--ahead:

Moving right along. So here I sit, heating pad attached firmly to my ass & shooting pain straight down my left leg. I've got a big glass of water [quart mason jars are the only water glasses big enough for me], 2 books on yoga & various poses for optimum health, and a healthy respect for pain medicines.

Case in point: Last week [?] I was having some major wrist irritation. Irritation turned to pain, pain turned into throbbing the moment I woke up. So after much deliberation, I decided to take some pain meds that I had leftover from when I had Jack. Its 1030ish by the time I've made this decision. I've gone about my normal morning routine: get some coffee, feed the boy, get more coffee, put the boy down for a nap, facebook/internets. Did you see breakfast? Yea, its not in there. The moment I opened the hatch & let the liquid slide down my throat I could feel it hit my stomach, and looking around, saying- "Nothing's here! Time to par-tay!!" Holy fucking hell, batman. So I, like an idiot, decide upon getting something into my stomach. 'A bowl of cereal should be sufficient.', I think to myself. Apparently I'm already high by this point, because I decided upon Crispix, which has about as much substance as Chex. Yea, there isn't any!!! I'm good for oh, about an hour, & then I really feel it kick in. Apparently the medicine brought friends & turned my stomach into a mosh pit! I decide to lay down. Cancel the afternoon plans with girlfriends. Jack is napping at this point, so he's safe. He wakes up. Shit. I'll be okay.. just stay close to the ground. Which I do... until he needs to eat. I fix him his baby mush & container of peas... & as I am holding the peas at arms length away from my face, I realize there is no way in fucking hell I can do this. Cue the reinforcements. Fredward wasn't going to be home until 530 at the earliest & all of my neighbors were gone. [Yes, I know they were gone, because I can see their driveways from my house. No cars = no neighbors.] I called my mom, with the highest of hopes [shut up] that she would be home early. She said she'd be off work in an hour. I can hold it together that long, just PLEASE COME GET THE BOY. She arrives to find me in Dylan's bed, blankets over my head & nauseated as all hell, trying to get Jack to get some sleep in his bed. My strategy clearly wasn't working so she scoops him up & takes him home with her for a few hours. Dylan is home by this point! He's pretty self-sufficient, & declined the offer to go to Gramma's for a couple of hours. He kept an eye on me & answered the phone when Fredward called.

Moral: 1 dose = 1 Tbsp of that shit-also-known-as-liquid-hydrocodone can really, really fuck you up. Don't do it, kids. Ever. I was useless all damn day & night because of it. When I spoke to my mom the next day [she called to check in on me- thanks mom!] I told her I had thought about dumping the contents of the bottle & tossing it out as soon as the thought of that shit stopped making me nauseated.

Returning to the heating pad on my ass. Tylenol doesn't do a damn thing for sciatic pain. I nearly threw out my back today [getting dressed! who knew?!!] & as a result am in some serious pain.

:Blows on the dice in my hand, then tosses out:

Come on, lady luck. Shine on me. I've got an art show to prepare for. I'd really like to wake up tomorrow with no back issues please. Is that so much to ask?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In the interest of 'Keeping it Real'...

Yesterday Dylan had his 6 year check up. Nothing major, just the annual run-down of making sure he's growing properly, etc. There was some mild confusion with the new doc and I as to his immunizations & whether he was up to date or not. [He was. And yes, I immunize my kids & don't criticize you for it if you do not, so don't go there. I do not give them ANY of the 'seasonal' flu vaccines, so just stop.]

He woke up with a fever of 100.1 yesterday & as it seemed low-grade to me, I gave him the option of going to school or staying home; he went. At the doc's office, his temp was up to 101.7 {yikes!} but was given the overall, 'He's fine. His immune system should be strong enough to fight off whatever he has, so not a big deal. Perhaps keep him home until his fever has been gone for 24 hours.' Okay, not a big deal; for me. This kid would rather have an arm cut off than miss school. To say he loves school would be an understatement.

So in the spirit of keeping with his learning, we had a home-from-school-school-day today. We worked on math, writing, and reading. We had Story time

and computer time. He's now on snack/recess time & will be doing some more 'homework' after lunch. Right now

he's learning what home row is and how to type a sentence on my laptop. I had him writing sentences today and learning to type. He did a pretty good job of 'hunting & pecking' to find the letters on the keyboard. Trying to teach a 6 year old to type is laughable, as his was reaction to trying to find all the letters whilst keeping his fingers on home row.

Ah yes. I do not have the patience of a saint, nor do I have the patience of a teacher. Though Dylan did say he wished I was a teacher. Not his, per se, but someone else's.

Yea right. Today is shaping up to be an okay school day, especially for one being at home. I'll just have to make sure that I stay on task & keep him learning all day as he would in school. I'm kind of glad I don't have to do this everyday. I don't know if I could!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Middle School, round 2

This year is turning out to be nothing like last year. Aside from that one bad math grade, the kid is kicking ass & taking names when it comes to his grades.


Family & Consumer: B
Phy Ed: B+
Language Arts: A <---yes you read that correctly.
Math: D+
Science: C+
Social Studies: C

I'm really proud of him. It took SO MUCH EFFORT to get him to even make a minimal effort in school last year [round 1]. This year, not much has changed [I think], but he's doing much better.

Oh, and they won their last football game: 16-12 over East Troy. Woot!!