Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Christmas...

I started out putting unbreakable ornaments on the bottom part of our tree years ago, when kitty & all his peskiness would knock them off the tree. A few years ago, I tied together bells & hung those from the lower branches, so they would jingle when he brushed up underneath them.

Jack has discovered the bells, & he pulls those off the tree along with the other unbreakable ornaments. Its okay- they are unbreakable for that purpose. Well, him & kitty. The ornament in the lower left hand corner [above photo] was an ornament he really wanted off the tree, because he wouldn't stop yanking on the branches [apparently this was an ornament I didn't want him to have because I bent the branch so it would stay on]. I was doing dishes, a mere 8 feet away around the corner, when I hear CRRAAASSSHHH!!!

I rush over, only to find the baby monster pulling himself out from underneath the tree- NO SCRATCHES, NO TEARS, NOT EVEN A DAMN PEEP OUT OF HIM!!!!

Because of all the destruction he caused, I had several ornament casualties- more than I've had in YEARS!!! Also, the [fake] tree will no longer stand upright on its own. Santa has taken his new place underneath the tree, assisting in the upright condition of said tree. It will be meeting the graveyard- aka, my garbage can- not to far off in the near future.

Sorry Mom [-inlaw], but you won't be getting this bad boy for your yard.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Lawn fairy. [sorry, no pictures of this one]

Well, I signed Dylan up for wrestling in hopes that he gets over his fears and becomes a stronger person. I hope it builds character, teaches respect [respect of others, respect of self, etc] and shows Dylan just how much your actual body is capable of. Yesterday I took him & my nephew [a fellow first year wrestler, though he's in 5th grade] to a wresting clinic for skill development. Andrew [my nephew] kicked some serious ass, including his own. He was huffing & puffing and really giving it his all. Trying to learn moves and master the fine art of the walrus walk. Dylan- I love this boy dearly and I pray to god that this is just a phase- found another like-minded first grader, and pranced around similar to [for lack of a better description] a fairy pixie horse {Thank you, Alex the lion/Madagascar}. Not saying he didn't try; he did. But he tried with his definitely-a-first-grader effort. Looking around the room, rolling around on the mat, falling over or falling down when supposed to be wrestling. He reminds me of Sadie; when there is another dog in the area, she gets so excited and to prove that she's harmless, will immediately roll onto her back to show the dog how submissive she is. Dylan was like that yesterday; he fell down to show that he's a nice kid, not a tough guy. I didn't know whether to yell [it was free, so no $ lost] to hang my head [every time he went down intentionally instead of wrestling,] or to walk away. Its so hard to watch... I just want to go out there, scream 'PAY ATTENTION!!!' while shaking the living crap out of him. I don't know if he knows that in wrestling, the object is not to be the one to get pinned or held down. When he plays with Alex he's always the one getting pinned down, so I've no idea.

I've had a similar experience when he played soccer at 4 years old. The boy was then, and is now, really unfocused. Back then, he picked out the kids who had no interest in the ball, but rather a renewed interest in the blades of grass and the flowers growing between them. He'd pick flowers, twirl around, spinning at just the right time to watch the ball go whizzing past him, while looking after it, going, "WHOA! Did you see that?? That ball almost hit me!!" He would then proceed to show the other lawn fairy what it would have looked like, had he been hit with aforementioned ball.


I love him, but someone please tell me its just a phase.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Snow Day [the first of many for] 2009?

No more summer until... well, summer. My last remnant of summer hanging and chiming with the snow fall...

It has been snowing profusely since last night... we are well over 24 hours at this point & really, its showing no signs of wanting to let up either.

Sadie has been outside with the boys for the last hour & apparently does not want to be inside. She keeps running from window to window trying to see or get outside. When she's outside, she keeps running up & down the stairs, as though she wants to come in, but doesn't.

The boys told me that they want to make a better hill. So what better way than to fill up a garbage can with snow & get to work on it???

This is half of the snow sliding off the roof... the other half Alex knocked down with the shovel.

Ah yes. Gots to love the snow days!! woot!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

9 Months old, yesterday

:le sigh: My littlest boy is growing up so fast! He's crawling everywhere & pulling himself up... pretty soon he'll be walking!


We were discussing the possibility of cutting down our own tree this year. We will usually go cut one down, tie it precariously to the top of the car, & enjoy some hot chocolate in the freezing cold. Normally it snows THE DAY we want to go & get said tree. A good, albeit cold, time is had by all. This will be Jack's first Christmas, so we'll see.

Dylan, Alex & Jackjack are in the backseat. Dylan pipes up saying he wants one that we 'put together ourselves'. Last year, Dylan helped me sort out all of the branches, put it together, and assisted in the placement of the ornaments. Usually a good half-a day production; with the sorting & arranging, and lighting.

He told Alex, "Santa didn't know! He still brought us presents!"

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I just can't stand it anymore.

Cuteness this obscene should be illegal... then I would have the perfect excuse to be an outlaw.

In other news, Dylan's lip is healing quite nicely. He took a rather nasty fall at his friends' house last weekend, & came home with a giant fat lip. T-minus ONE DAY until we leave for Wisconsin Dells; we'll be staying at the Wilderness & watching Alex play some 8th grade championship football-- WOOT!!!

Gave jackjack a bath today & among all of his cuteness, he came up with this on his own.... I had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I SWEAR. I was lucky enough to grab the camera in time, because I had just shut it off to start packing the toiletry bag & I look over to find this:

Now, doesn't he look like Fredward with the bubble goatee & bubble-baby-chest-hair??

Have a great weekend, everyone!! I'll post following our wins [hopefully!].

Monday, November 2, 2009

Happy Halloween... a day late.

In the interest of all things entertaining, I'll give you lots of pics of my kids; including several of Jack-jack, who had a mini fashion show of his various & assorted costumes. That is to come.

Over the beginning of the weekend, Dylan one-upped his brother & face-planted off a ramp while riding his scooter. [Backstory: In case you didn't know, Alex flew over his handlebars on his bike over the summer, landing on his arm & prompting a late night trip to urgent care which was closed, and an early am visit to the doc office, only to determine that he landed on his arm. Nothing broken. Tragedy averted, as he had just started football practice.]

This was the next day... I felt pretty bad for him. His lip was so pouffed out it looked like he had a duck bill. The swelling has been going down, thankfully & the lip has been healing nicely with twice daily applications of triple antibiotic ointment. Good thing he was already missing his front teeth, or those would have fallen out upon impact. He bruised his gum & upper lip pretty good- its actually purple where his tooth would have been.

On to the costumes!!!

tiger [Dylan wore this at 1 yr old. .. he'd just started walking]

Jack in the box. Yes this was an option, but it was too freaking cold. Perhaps another year.
Jack the bear... the bear head wouldn't stay up. He wasn't feeling this one.

Dylan & E-man.

alex [gangsta], sam [jason] & dylan [tony hawk]

the boys.

the winning costume: a little devil. How appropriate. :)

Just a thank you to the neighbors who decided Jack's parents need candy too!!! I love you for that!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Seriously? He can't be yet. OMG!! Ah Well.

dylan's weak stomach [thank you carol]
seen & heard: Several attempts to get Dylan to carve pumpkins for Halloween. He always thought it was gross & he wouldn't touch the pumpkin guts. So this year, thinking because he's older it will be different, wasn't really any different!! Oh what was I thinking? Child [who gags when the cat vomits in the general vicinity] o' mine, O' child o' mine. I got some rubber gloves for him, thinking the texture might be too much.


I tried getting him to look away while reaching in & grabbing a handful of pumpkin guts. Not so much!


I ended up carving the damn pumpkin. I really didn't want to. Believe it or not, digging out a pumpkins innards & taking a scapula to the exterior of said pumpkin is not high on my list of favorite things to do. I fully enjoy gutting a pie pumpkin, only to fill it with spices & bake it until its mushy then commence with the homemade pumpkin pie making. That I enjoy. Carving?

That stuff is for kids.

Jack is thismuch closer to crawling

Shortly after I caught this footage, he was on the opposite side of the living room, rocking back & forth on all fours. Naturally I couldn't get the memory card dumped in time, so I was unable to capture it, as my card was full. I so need a 1-gig [or higher!] SD memory card right now.

Bonus: Alex was bumped up to play at the RCA dome in Wisconsin Dells.
Alex had an opportunity to play a two game tournament at the RCA dome [now the Wisconsin Dells Center]. He was passed over, although he worked really super hard. The team reserved a block of rooms at the Wilderness Resort which has its own indoor water parks. [Yes, plural] We received a phone call from his coach tonight- Another player had to drop out; Alex was next on the list. Would he like to play? Made some phone calls to Alex & yea- he's in!

Downside- Fredward had to cancel the plans he made for my birthday, because we'll be in the dells. The sole reason he claims to never make plans- they never go through. Case in Point.

But, we'll be in the dells. At a Water park! Watching football!! At least I know what I'm doing for my birthday celebration.. & I'm pretty excited about it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lady Luck is pissing in my pond.

If lady bugs are supposed to be lucky, are they holding a conference in my kitchen right now to decide on how much luck I actually get? Must they crawl through the cracks in the window sills, and just 'hang out' on any unsuspecting glass just sitting on the counter? Or dive bomb me, Pearl Harbor- style, as I walk up my stairs? Anywho, just have your little meeting while I sit here wondering how long it will be before you decide to join my food on the stove & spoil a perfectly good meal.

Did you ever have a ladybug in your glass or food & not notice it until you TASTED it?? OOOhhh, it is all sorts of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Did I mention that Dylan used to be TERRIFIED of lady bugs as a kid? TERRIFIED!! Of Ladybugs!!

:Warning--> Topic change <--ahead:

Moving right along. So here I sit, heating pad attached firmly to my ass & shooting pain straight down my left leg. I've got a big glass of water [quart mason jars are the only water glasses big enough for me], 2 books on yoga & various poses for optimum health, and a healthy respect for pain medicines.

Case in point: Last week [?] I was having some major wrist irritation. Irritation turned to pain, pain turned into throbbing the moment I woke up. So after much deliberation, I decided to take some pain meds that I had leftover from when I had Jack. Its 1030ish by the time I've made this decision. I've gone about my normal morning routine: get some coffee, feed the boy, get more coffee, put the boy down for a nap, facebook/internets. Did you see breakfast? Yea, its not in there. The moment I opened the hatch & let the liquid slide down my throat I could feel it hit my stomach, and looking around, saying- "Nothing's here! Time to par-tay!!" Holy fucking hell, batman. So I, like an idiot, decide upon getting something into my stomach. 'A bowl of cereal should be sufficient.', I think to myself. Apparently I'm already high by this point, because I decided upon Crispix, which has about as much substance as Chex. Yea, there isn't any!!! I'm good for oh, about an hour, & then I really feel it kick in. Apparently the medicine brought friends & turned my stomach into a mosh pit! I decide to lay down. Cancel the afternoon plans with girlfriends. Jack is napping at this point, so he's safe. He wakes up. Shit. I'll be okay.. just stay close to the ground. Which I do... until he needs to eat. I fix him his baby mush & container of peas... & as I am holding the peas at arms length away from my face, I realize there is no way in fucking hell I can do this. Cue the reinforcements. Fredward wasn't going to be home until 530 at the earliest & all of my neighbors were gone. [Yes, I know they were gone, because I can see their driveways from my house. No cars = no neighbors.] I called my mom, with the highest of hopes [shut up] that she would be home early. She said she'd be off work in an hour. I can hold it together that long, just PLEASE COME GET THE BOY. She arrives to find me in Dylan's bed, blankets over my head & nauseated as all hell, trying to get Jack to get some sleep in his bed. My strategy clearly wasn't working so she scoops him up & takes him home with her for a few hours. Dylan is home by this point! He's pretty self-sufficient, & declined the offer to go to Gramma's for a couple of hours. He kept an eye on me & answered the phone when Fredward called.

Moral: 1 dose = 1 Tbsp of that shit-also-known-as-liquid-hydrocodone can really, really fuck you up. Don't do it, kids. Ever. I was useless all damn day & night because of it. When I spoke to my mom the next day [she called to check in on me- thanks mom!] I told her I had thought about dumping the contents of the bottle & tossing it out as soon as the thought of that shit stopped making me nauseated.

Returning to the heating pad on my ass. Tylenol doesn't do a damn thing for sciatic pain. I nearly threw out my back today [getting dressed! who knew?!!] & as a result am in some serious pain.

:Blows on the dice in my hand, then tosses out:

Come on, lady luck. Shine on me. I've got an art show to prepare for. I'd really like to wake up tomorrow with no back issues please. Is that so much to ask?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In the interest of 'Keeping it Real'...

Yesterday Dylan had his 6 year check up. Nothing major, just the annual run-down of making sure he's growing properly, etc. There was some mild confusion with the new doc and I as to his immunizations & whether he was up to date or not. [He was. And yes, I immunize my kids & don't criticize you for it if you do not, so don't go there. I do not give them ANY of the 'seasonal' flu vaccines, so just stop.]

He woke up with a fever of 100.1 yesterday & as it seemed low-grade to me, I gave him the option of going to school or staying home; he went. At the doc's office, his temp was up to 101.7 {yikes!} but was given the overall, 'He's fine. His immune system should be strong enough to fight off whatever he has, so not a big deal. Perhaps keep him home until his fever has been gone for 24 hours.' Okay, not a big deal; for me. This kid would rather have an arm cut off than miss school. To say he loves school would be an understatement.

So in the spirit of keeping with his learning, we had a home-from-school-school-day today. We worked on math, writing, and reading. We had Story time

and computer time. He's now on snack/recess time & will be doing some more 'homework' after lunch. Right now

he's learning what home row is and how to type a sentence on my laptop. I had him writing sentences today and learning to type. He did a pretty good job of 'hunting & pecking' to find the letters on the keyboard. Trying to teach a 6 year old to type is laughable, as his was reaction to trying to find all the letters whilst keeping his fingers on home row.

Ah yes. I do not have the patience of a saint, nor do I have the patience of a teacher. Though Dylan did say he wished I was a teacher. Not his, per se, but someone else's.

Yea right. Today is shaping up to be an okay school day, especially for one being at home. I'll just have to make sure that I stay on task & keep him learning all day as he would in school. I'm kind of glad I don't have to do this everyday. I don't know if I could!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Middle School, round 2

This year is turning out to be nothing like last year. Aside from that one bad math grade, the kid is kicking ass & taking names when it comes to his grades.


Family & Consumer: B
Phy Ed: B+
Language Arts: A <---yes you read that correctly.
Math: D+
Science: C+
Social Studies: C

I'm really proud of him. It took SO MUCH EFFORT to get him to even make a minimal effort in school last year [round 1]. This year, not much has changed [I think], but he's doing much better.

Oh, and they won their last football game: 16-12 over East Troy. Woot!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Give the boy a bone.

Of course we don't feed him! Why would we, when we can give him a plastic bone to gnaw on whilst cutting his teeth?

Pay no attention to the dog he is dragging around which is attached to the bone. I actually did get some short video of him playing the xylophone...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

for no other purpose other than just because.

I love Kate moss! and Johnny Depp! And lovingly, Carlotta has placed the two together.


Be sure to take the time to review her entire post; the photos are awesome if you are a Kate + Johnny lover. It makes me wish I was Kate, or very much like her... & Johnny... well, he's been a crush of mine for YEARS.


Friday, October 9, 2009

Poop. because I said so.

After having two little chompers on the bottom finally make their highly anticipated appearance, I've been feeding jackjack everything I think is safe enough... or whatever I can fit into the sock. The sock is a mesh feeder, and let me tell ya; that thing is awesome! It takes a little more effort to clean, but, the kid can eat anything in it! This week was the first time I'd gone beyond the banana in the sock; jack ate a soft apple, pasta, and mashed potatoes!

Because of the amount of "real food" the boy is eating, we've had another first this week.

---->Wait for it.<-----

---->Wait for it.<----

My kid can shit like a real person, y'all.

[Did you really think I wouldn't go there? Come on! now folks.]

No more of that mustard/sesame seed infused-multicolored-thicker-cream-of-wheat consistency. The more 'real' food he eats, the more he poops like a person!

Do lizards count as real food?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Tame, for me.

Who doesn't love birthday parties? Little kids can be so funny.. especially now, when they are 6 & 7 years old, they are coming into their own skin. Do I promote bad behavior? Nah.. but I do strongly encourage that my kids participate in activities that they LOVE. I was challenged to a scooter race by one of Dylan's friends [he won, totally.] Many thanks to my mom for bringing the waters & to Kevin for bringing the cool fusion scooter [4 wheels & so much fun to ride on!!]

How do you like that Quality Custom Framing? Photo props.... perhaps it'll generate some business for you. Don't forget who sent them your way!!

Ride like the wind, Alex! As cold as it was, it ended up being successful... & Jackjack was out of Mother Nature's cold range, as he slept in Fred's car for nearly the entire party. He decided to get up about 10 minutes before we started packing up. Perfect. He stayed nice & toasty warm, so no sicknesses here. Though, he did take super long naps yesterday [omg, is he growing AGAIN??].

I've been on a major Lady Gaga bender lately [especially since her & Kanye West cancelled the upcoming Fame Kills tour]... & as I'm listening to Poker Face, E-man is all yea, I know this song!! Nothing says awesome better than the kids rocking out to your music!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Happy 6th Birthday, Dylan

Mommy loves you. You look like daddy. Stop that.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Good Times

Today Alex won his 2nd game- they are now 2-1 & I couldn't be more excited for him. He was credited with a tackle today [and NATURALLY I was in the bathroom]. I started painting the boys' room. When I was pregnant, Dylan offered to share his room with the baby, and today, well this week, that desire will come true. I'm painting the walls a light gray and will be painting a stripe of "Space" around their whole room. Dylan wants a huge mural above his bed, which he'll get, but one thing at a time here, okay? I want to test out my pinstriping tape & his wall will be a good place to see what I can get done. Right now, while I waiting for my space stripe to dry I'm writing & uploading pics to facebook.

Tomorrow is Dylan's birthday... my firstborn turns 6 years old. :exhales:

Happy Birthday little man.

Friday, September 18, 2009

My Apologies

I know, dear reader, that you've been waiting [in vain, sadly] for a few weeks now for me to post something of good quality, side splitting humor, or just plain stupid kid stuff.






Yea, sorry 'bout that. I know you don't want to hear we've been busy, blah blah blah, school started / schedules need to be solidified shoobedy doobedy doo. But yea, we have been busy, and school did start and in all the chaos and commotion, I felt myself slowly slipping away. I'm aware, I got it. I've righted the ship and am back to sailing toward the horizon.

I did start working out again, to attain that level of physical health/sanity[?] & acquired a new workout partner.

Although the poor little guy is a little under the weather. He's teething... which means fever, snotting & watery eyes. Although compared to Dylan... I'll take the snots.

Monday, September 7, 2009

See, kids? Reading is sexy.

My bookshelves have been featured on a blog called "book lovers never go to bed alone". You should go check it out. View my shelf [here], if you haven't already seen it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Yesterday I was stopped

In the grocery store because of this:

and this:
Apparently my children are adorable enough to provoke sheer strangers to stop me and tell me how beautiful my family is.

It's awesome. I love my kids.

Monday, August 31, 2009


Was a fantastic movie!!! A movie, I saw with my husband. On a date. Our first date with no children since we dropped the boys off up north to spend a week with their grandparents a year ago. It was a well-enjoyed evening, and for some odd reason, can't stop thanking my babysitter for that evening. [Thanks Erin!!!] {Erin being 1/2 of Erin& Mattycakes, or Plan B Acoustic, as they are properly known} Oops, my shameless promotion has slipped out! Ah well. Go see them. Now.

Well, at the next show. I mean, you don't really want to go see them now because Matty's naked & Erin is in her pj's eating peanut butter & olives. Happy Snacking!

Friday, August 28, 2009


Alex had a record winning Madden '06 game today, ending 70-10 vs. Indianapolis Colts!

Dylan went to the Betty Brinn Children's Museum today with his best friend!!

Jackjack turned 6 months old yesterday. He's now a 18lb, 6oz bundle o' happiness!!!

The Packers are kicking ass -so far- it's only the 2nd quarter-OH THEY JUST SCORED- 31-10!!!!

I was offered a booth at Johnson Bank during Mukwonago's Fall Fest [September 19th], and they said I can have my art in the lobby over the winter!!!!!

I finished the ETACC logo, much to my surprise considering my struggle with Photoshop, and they LOVED it!!!!!!

As I said, eventful.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

As if the 4am feeding times were pleasant to begin with

Jackjack has decided over the last week or so to bump up the time of those feedings to between 3-3:30am. Last night it was 2:45 am, when I was going to bed.

Don't even say, "Well Jessica, clearly you should be going to bed at 10pm..."

Let me tell you this: I don't want to fucking hear it. I'll sleep when I'm dead as far as I'm concerned. I don't mind the little to no sleep that I actually do get, or the fact that an 'early' bedtime to me is before 1am. I am concerned though, with Jack's little nocturnal habit.

As I type this, he's squirming on my lap, trying to "help" me type. It's currently 12:42am. Clearly he's helping. Or he just really loves his momma.

What the hell is going on with his inner functioning that he continues to need that early am feeding and why the hell does he keep getting up earlier?

I dunno... but he's damn cute & I'd be hard-pressed to give him back.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Couch pillows are not for couches...

They are for the dog to lay upon whilst sun bathing.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Dylan casually flipping through the pages of new Playboy over breakfast.

Oooops. :sigh:

Shouldn't have left that out... I was reading the interview with Seth McFarlane last night at dinner & forgot to put it away.

For the boy's first Playboy, he should have had a better introduction. Perhaps he'll forget. And then we can re-introduce Playboy when he's older... and he'll be like, oh yea.. I've seen those. You have a STACK IN YOUR ROOM AS TALL AS I AM.

For the record, he refused to tell me what he saw in there. So I doubt he'll speak of it again.

Don't call the authorities.. you know your kids have done it. And mom... don't tell dad. I don't want to hear about how horrible of a mother I am ... I can hear him now-'Why do you even allow that smut into your house? What is wrong with your husband?', etc., etc.

BTW; the subscription is in my name.

Friday, August 14, 2009

He's got big balls

Dylan's first time at the skate park [East Troy]... and he elects to start on one of the high ramps!

Alex coaches....

Dylan falls....

and gets another lesson.