Tuesday, August 4, 2009

'Man-ing' the Grill...

Hot Damn! Smoking out the neighbors again... Time for grilling out. I was in charge tonight because Fredward had to go pick up Alex from football practice. So this is to those who've decided that I should not be allowed to commander the grill, be warned. You know who you are. I can grill. I have grilled. And it was DELICIOUS.

mmmm....... Seriously, though. How good does that look?? AND I barbecued it.

...all hail the holy grill!

Hot, HOT Pants.

So I had this crazy ass dream last night. I know, this doesn't sound promising, but I had to get it down before I lost it all.

There I was shopping- somewhere- in some fancy pants place checking out these white pants. They were a beautiful pristine white, trouser like, and tiny in size.

[Side note: in my "real" life, I never, ever wear white pants, just because of the close proximity to myself and the earth I walk upon usually equals a mess. Its dirty, and for the love of god and all things holy, I can't keep any white thing white. Over time, it usually ends up a nice shade of dingy sandy white, or better yet, orange from all the rust in my water. Oh yea, & I'm not even close to tiny in size. Closer to a whole lotta love, more or less.]

Any who, so I'm shopping at this exclusive place, and I'm eying these pants, I try them on- and THEY FIT WONDERFULLY. "It must be all this walking I'm doing!! I've been doing these 4.84 mile walks every day, and now look!" Prior to this all I had was a massive muffin top spilling out over the top of my pants. I don't know how walking made me so thin [overnight??], but for the sake of this dream, it did.

Now Kathy Griffin is eying the same pair of pants. She & I for some reason are the exact same size [which would be the size she is now], and somehow this is the only pair of white pants in the store. Anyways, she's looking at them, picks them up, tries them on [they look faboosh on her as well] and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING DECISION ON WHETHER TO BUY THEM OR NOT. I, being as blunt as I can possibly be, tell her that I will buy those pants. She's hemming and hawing over this- and I've already made the decision for her! Then I proceed to RIP THE PANTS OUT OF HER HANDS AND GO TO THE CASHIER. As she stands there gawking, like 'OMG!!! Did you SEE WHAT SHE JUST DID???'

Basically I get into a tussle with the legendary Kathy Griffin in a dreamland store, and me & my smug attitude get the pants I came in for.

Classy, ain't it?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Compiling a to-do list

The thing is almost a mile long. The short list would be 'what NOT to-do.'

-->too long to post here; instead, busts out the loose leaf paper and goes at it old-school: with paper & pen... <--

What NOT to-do:

1. Procrastinate
2. Sit on Facebook all day
3. Read Perezhilton for a couple of hours- STRAIGHT
4. Avoid all things related to cleaning/straightening of the house
5. NOT Make the to-do list. I have to... do I have to separate everything by category?? Because then, I have a shit-ton to do.