So I had this crazy ass dream last night. I know, this doesn't sound promising, but I had to get it down before I lost it all.
There I was shopping- somewhere- in some fancy pants place checking out these white pants. They were a beautiful pristine white, trouser like, and tiny in size.
[Side note: in my "real" life, I never, ever wear white pants, just because of the close proximity to myself and the earth I walk upon usually equals a mess. Its dirty, and for the love of god and all things holy, I can't keep any white thing white. Over time, it usually ends up a nice shade of dingy sandy white, or better yet, orange from all the rust in my water. Oh yea, & I'm not even close to tiny in size. Closer to a whole lotta love, more or less.]
Any who, so I'm shopping at this exclusive place, and I'm eying these pants, I try them on- and THEY FIT WONDERFULLY. "It must be all this walking I'm doing!! I've been doing these 4.84 mile walks every day, and now look!" Prior to this all I had was a massive muffin top spilling out over the top of my pants. I don't know how walking made me so thin [overnight??], but for the sake of this dream, it did.
Now Kathy Griffin is eying the same pair of pants. She & I for some reason are the exact same size [which would be the size she is now], and somehow this is the only pair of white pants in the store. Anyways, she's looking at them, picks them up, tries them on [they look faboosh on her as well] and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING DECISION ON WHETHER TO BUY THEM OR NOT. I, being as blunt as I can possibly be, tell her that I will buy those pants. She's hemming and hawing over this- and I've already made the decision for her! Then I proceed to RIP THE PANTS OUT OF HER HANDS AND GO TO THE CASHIER. As she stands there gawking, like 'OMG!!! Did you SEE WHAT SHE JUST DID???'
Basically I get into a tussle with the legendary Kathy Griffin in a dreamland store, and me & my smug attitude get the pants I came in for.
Classy, ain't it?