Getting rid of chipmunks 101

I can pour gasoline in its hole & start it on fire.
-wha-?
I could shoot it.
-yea, get your gun & go shoot that damn thing. It keeps eating my strawberries!
I can't shoot it, I don't have a scope on it anymore
--Use the iron sights on your gun!
My gun doesn't have the iron sites! You should let me use your pellet gun dad.
--I'm not letting you use my gun! You wouldn't even be able to hit the damn thing!
I'd try!
--The last time I let you use my pellet gun you didn't hit a damn thing! And you were shooting at everything!
Its not my fault that you actually hit the first bird you shot at!
--You need to practice more!

:[--]Fred and Alex proceed to tell me the story about the time Fred took Alex out to practice shooting Fred's pellet gun. Fred goes, 'Oh, look I'll shoot the bird.' and actually hits the bird. A flock flies by and Alex didn't hit a one. Then there is a dispute on when this actually happened- was it 2 years ago as Fred says, or was it when Alex says he was 6?:


No it was when I was in grade school.
--No, it was 2 years ago!
Well then I was 8!

:for the record, Alex is 12. He'll be 13 in July.:

-wha-?
I'll just go get my shot gun.
-wha?
--You can't go using a shot gun to kill a freaking chipmunk! You'll blast big holes in everything!
Noo, I'll just use birdshot. Wonder what Bob would say?
-wha-?
I could use a blowtorch.
-YOU ARE NOT USING A BLOWTORCH ON SOMETHING THAT IS WITHIN 6 FEET OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!


:For the record, no chipmunks were harmed during the course of this discussion.

But if those little fuckers keep eating my strawberries, they will be!: