Well, let's see here.

Among the many things I am out of, necessary things such as diapers and toilet paper, patience is right at the top of the list.

September cannot come fast enough. School should be year round. And teenage boys should not have PMS. But its the 23rd of July, school isn't year round much to the disappointment of many parents, and oddly enough, teenage boys DO have PMS. Go figure.

Now that I'm a mom of 3 boys, I'm left wondering if I would have better off if they were girls.

LOVE

As much as I can, I'm visiting my Grammy while she is here. She & Grampa come north every 4 years or so, and while she is here, she's getting some of her medical issues looked at. We have better medical care here, than they do in New Mexico.


Gramma, me & Jackjack [he's trying to sabotage the camera, he's yanking on the cord.]


<3 So you think I'll look like her when I'm 83? Hope so... she's beautiful.

My African violets. I bought these 3 years ago, when I started working at the hellish call center... they had flowers when I purchased them, and this is the first time in 3 years they have bloomed.

jackjack loves his toes

Oh! And Jackjack is starting the cereal & formula combo... hopefully he'll be weaned by the end of August, so I can go back to work! :he drank a full 4 oz!!!:

Hopefully I'll be back to work by end of August, early September.

Its goo time!

Yes, goo. What is coming out of his mouth is the goo left over after he's "eaten" his first rice cereal. It looks like a cross between puke and formula. No chunks, just a bunch of drooled cereal.

He was all "eh, eww.. I dunno about this..."
But like a good little birdie, he opened up again...


Gramma was ecstatic to see him eat cereal for the first time.

Needless to say it went better the second time. I swear he ate, but I don't know how much actually ended up in his mouth.

Independence day

I realize this is a few days late, but we've been celebrating my eldest son's 13th birthday. He turned 13. The boy is a teenager. :exhales the deep breath I've been holding for 10 years:

Before I go any further: I love you Alex. Happy Birthday.



It came and went with no burns, no fingers lost, and plenty of fun & sunshine for all. I took some cool shots of the fire & some fireworks and sparklers.

I finished on time and on schedule.

For this episode, I'll refer you to Accomplished Anything?

It turned out well. You should go see. Really.

Deadlines and Parenting

So I've started the baby Helmet that I've been asked to do. Because the object in question is such a critical piece [quite literally- this helmet reshapes the boy's head, so its round, not flat in multiple spots, as his parents told me], Fredward needs to and has offered to care for the kids so I could focus on my new project and not have to worry about making dinner or taking care of the boys this evening. Exception, being Jackjack, when he needs to be fed. Problem being, Jack screams when Fred is trying to care for him, either because he [Fredward] isn't me, or because Fred isn't standing up. The boy doesn't like to sit down - actually, he doesn't like it when you sit down. He wants to be up and moving and going. So I ended up taking Jack a few times throughout the evening when I just couldn't take the screaming anymore, because he wouldn't stop. No, its not colic, he is just unhappy with Fred in the evening hours. Usually because he doesn't take the greatest of naps during the day, so he is cranky as all hell by the time Fred gets home.

The other boys don't seem to notice Fred is in charge, either.

Alex came into the kitchen fully expecting me to start dinner after my guests left, and to his surprise, I took the helmet and went into the studio without another word. He looked completely puzzled as Fred explained that Mom has to work on a project that has to be done by tomorrow, and that he has to help me out tomorrow. Take care of Dylan and Jack- Mom will feed Jack, but you'll have to play with him.

:side note- this ought to be interesting:

Dylan comes up to me; "Ah, Mom?"
'What, Dylan?'
"I don't like brown beans."
'Tell someone who cares. Tell dad. I'm working at the moment.'
Dylan was present during the Authority change explanation. He also heard it earlier in the day. I have no idea if it registered or not though.

And Jackjack, of course, screamed and cried and carried on and on and on. Then I took him, attempted the calm-down ritual, fed him, and gave him back to Fred.

What? I've got work to do. This Helmet isn't going to paint itself.

Summer is official.

We've been at the beach, playing in the sprinkler, and hiding out in the air conditioning avoiding the fierce glare of the Midwestern intense heat/humidity combo. Jackjack had his first foray into the lake this weekend, swim diaper and all. The kid smelled like sunscreen for two days. I bathed him, I swear.

But he didn't burn, thank goodness. Through my sunglasses, I could have sworn he was a little pink, but that could have just been from being in the water.

Dylan, ever the daredevil when it comes to water, continues his quest to jump off the pier to see how far he can actually go.

This little guy has taught himself how to swim. It totally blows my mind, too. He can hold is breath and swim under water, he wears his goggles, and regularly challenges himself. I am so proud.

Between sleepovers and playtime at friends houses, its actually rare to get all three boys together lately. Never thought that would happen, but I'm grateful it has. It means my kids have friends, and are determined to keep those friendships.

But here they are. And I love them. Look how much they have all changed! My goodness! They are growing and changing on a daily basis. They are getting older, more mature. That doesn't mean I'll admit to getting older. I am, but I refuse to grow up.

That was the dog.

That was you.
No! That was the dog! :grins:

-----earlier in the day------

We are driving to Target to pick up some sandals for the middle boy. [And hopefully for myself, if they are cheap enough. *fingers crossed*] We, for this trip, are: myself, Alex, Dylan & Jackjack. The variance in ages make it difficult to keep focused on a trip. We are not merely going shopping, we are going for a purpose. This is an excursion! I need to buy Dylan sandals for the summer. Otherwise he'll be running around in socks & shoes, as he refuses to go barefoot. This child, mind you, has a shoe problem. I daresay shoe fetish, because I am still wondering does a fetish develop in those early years?? To say he likes shoes is an understatement. This kid adores shoes. Somehow he wished and prayed with all his might to get his beloved Sketcher's shoes.

That boy ended up with three pairs of sketchers: Airators, Z-Straps, and Evaders. And a pair of Heeleys.

Alex wants to look at (key word: look, because I sure as hell ain't that dropping that kind of dough!) video games, and "Oh, there is a Best Buy over there, Mom, can we stop there too please!!!???!?!" Because when we get there, he wants to check out new cell phones, laptops and, of course, video games. Everything his, and mine, - admittedly- wishful thinking can afford.

Dylan is the one getting the shoes sandals so there is no avoiding that mission. However, there is Dylan, "Mom, check out these shoes!" and me: "No, Dylan we are shopping for sandals, not shoes right now. Oh.. wow, these are cool. Hey Dylan! Did you see these shoes? Aren't these super cool?!?!?"

Jackjack, had no agenda. Well, that he voiced anyways. I pointed out, the minuscule 'baby boys' section. It was the newborn wall with all of the slippers, bathrobes, onesies, that sort of thing. Gift-y stuff. One-third of the rack was boys, the rest was girls stuff!!!!! Any mother with a boy, knows exactly what I am talking about. The boys turned their heads to acknowledge my statement. Alex even returned to that subject when I finally dragged us past there on the way out.

So really its me, almost encouraging them, pausing to shop, look, and telling them "lets go!"

Boys: "But mom! Did you see that?!"
Me: :sighs: "Alright! :smiles: But make it quick, we've got to go!"



------------>back to now, with the whole farting-in-the-chair issue. Yes that was it. The dog was behind him- on the other side, really, but just behind him, and he's sitting in the recliner, settling into some Grand Theft Auto and rips one off. <------------- Among the many, many reasons I love my son, here are a few: Mom, did you see that? hrm?
Why are all those bikes there? What is that?
Its a bike path, there is a little cafe there.
They have a bike club? Awesome! I'm gonna make a foot club! No, a shoe club! For people who wear shoes!
:laughing:
A boat! Aw, Mom! Lets buy that boat!
:laughing: Oh, boy!
No Outlet. There is no outlet in that sign.
really?
Ooh, look at that. Tractor! Lets get a tractor. OOh, A patch of grass! Lets get a patch of grass.
:grins:
Oh, Look, A house!
[If you are wondering, it looked like a kit house- buy the halves & put it together type of deal.]

Wonder what Bob would say if we got that and put it in the back yard.
:his horrible imitation of Bob's voice- sounds like an old lady really: "Oh, no! Not my precious grass! Bah!"

-we commence driving through the swanky tourist-y town to get to target, because I didn't think to get on the freeway! Sitting at the stoplight-

Mom! Its the boat! We saw that guy! Lets buy the boat!
Aw, look mom! A horse! I want a horse like that!

[Horses are apparently part of the community's Public Art Project this year]


MOM!!!!!! OMG, LOOK! ITS A SNOWMOBILE! THEY ARE JUST THROWING IT OUT WITH THE TRASH, AW, CAN I BRING IT HOME?
oh, hell no. No, no, no no no no no no no no no no, no.

ooo, look! A rummage, aw, can we stop?!
:laughing:


-as we pass we can both clearly see that its all crap-

eh, maybe on the way back? [hoping to god, he doesn't remember. But judging from the incident in the store earlier, he'd remember. of course.]

MOM! ITS THE SNOWMOBILE!!! Can I bring it home? Lets put it in the trunk!
no.
But you guys never let me bring anything home to work on!
How are you going to work on it?
I've got tools! I have a huge toolbox at my grandparents! I'll bring it home. It weighs like 500 pounds when its empty!!


-by this point I'm laughing out loud and shaking my head, because he is laughing at himself, and smiling, trying in a miserable attempt to keep a straight face and a 'serious' attitude about it!

Bring on the teenage years, folks. Because this kid is hysterical. I promise I won't want to go back to the hundred-thousand-questions-a-day act around 5-7 years old, because I've got two more kids to go through that with. I love my boy.


Mom, can we turn this into a bowl? Like hollow it out, and its all hard and stuff, like a gourd?

I understand. I really do.

We all need a little love and affection these days. We really do. Sometimes though just when you want it, you don't. You want it when you can't have it, and can't have it when you want it. It is frustrating as all hell when your 3 1/2 month old has been 'put to bed' twice but can't be bothered with sleeping at this time of night! NOOOOO!!!! Its time to play! Its time to smile and charm the pants off your already weary and sex -deprived parents!!! aarrrgghh!!!

I swear if the kids weren't so fucking cute.....




.... well, even then I'd have a hard time. I love the little lump o' baby way too much.

Getting rid of chipmunks 101

I can pour gasoline in its hole & start it on fire.
-wha-?
I could shoot it.
-yea, get your gun & go shoot that damn thing. It keeps eating my strawberries!
I can't shoot it, I don't have a scope on it anymore
--Use the iron sights on your gun!
My gun doesn't have the iron sites! You should let me use your pellet gun dad.
--I'm not letting you use my gun! You wouldn't even be able to hit the damn thing!
I'd try!
--The last time I let you use my pellet gun you didn't hit a damn thing! And you were shooting at everything!
Its not my fault that you actually hit the first bird you shot at!
--You need to practice more!

:[--]Fred and Alex proceed to tell me the story about the time Fred took Alex out to practice shooting Fred's pellet gun. Fred goes, 'Oh, look I'll shoot the bird.' and actually hits the bird. A flock flies by and Alex didn't hit a one. Then there is a dispute on when this actually happened- was it 2 years ago as Fred says, or was it when Alex says he was 6?:


No it was when I was in grade school.
--No, it was 2 years ago!
Well then I was 8!

:for the record, Alex is 12. He'll be 13 in July.:

-wha-?
I'll just go get my shot gun.
-wha?
--You can't go using a shot gun to kill a freaking chipmunk! You'll blast big holes in everything!
Noo, I'll just use birdshot. Wonder what Bob would say?
-wha-?
I could use a blowtorch.
-YOU ARE NOT USING A BLOWTORCH ON SOMETHING THAT IS WITHIN 6 FEET OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!


:For the record, no chipmunks were harmed during the course of this discussion.

But if those little fuckers keep eating my strawberries, they will be!:

Do you really need TWO eyebrows?

Alex: "Dylan, can I shave one of your eyebrows?"
Dylan: "NOOO!"



Well, as it turns out, no eyebrows were lost during the shaving of Dylan's head. Alex did, however, have an awesome time stopping at various points during the haircut telling Dylan he was "done". He experimented with stripes.....


.... and a teeny tiny little tuft of hair left behind, just to see if he'd notice.



He noticed.

So I had a crazy ass dream.....

....that I should start a blog about the odd things that happen in my life. I have another blog, Accomplished Anything? that I've devoted to my art. Art is the other part of my life, the main focus is on my children and husband. I am a proud mom to three boys: Alex, Dylan and Jack. I am excited about this blog, as I've dreamt about this. [BTW, the dream turned out good. Somehow Rob Pattinson was involved in said dream. Like I said, it was fabulous.]

Visiting my girlfriend [I can call her that now; we've swapped kid stories & bonded over chocolate chip cookie dough] this afternoon to de-stress [read: keep the kids occupied with one another]. They were in & out, jumping on the trampoline, swinging on the swings, playing with the hose, splashing in the kiddie pool. Ten minutes into pool time, "MOM! JACOB PEED IN THE POOL!!!" Both of us being mothers of 3 boys each, I immediately burst into laughter and she goes to get the soap!!! After adding a slide, we christened it the boy wash, rather than auto wash. Reminds me a bit o' Dr. Seuss: "come on down, we have the only gak boy wash in town!" Really though, how much harm can a little pee come between you and 50+ gallons of water?

FLARP made an appearance the other day, courtesy of another girlfriend. As I stated on her facebook wall, "

I must tell you: the appearance of the flarp on our stairs was enthusiastically welcomed, and the atmosphere of noise hasn't stopped since."

Highly entertaining indeed. Dylan played with said FLARP all last evening, and all this morning- "Mom, this one is you!" :giggles: "This one is dad!" :more giggles: "Aw, this one is Alex!" :squealing giggles: "This one is Sadie!" [Sadie is our dog] :hysterics: So the hubby tells me over our morning cup of coffee, "See honey? Farts are funny!" as Dylan continues, between squeals of laughter, to name off whose farts are now coming out of the FLARP container & its contents.

*Fish Story*
Well, its more of a fishing story, since it doesn't actually involve the fish themselves. Fredward and Alex went fishing this evening and they were telling me their stories from tonight's trip. Among them, were Fred's attempts at getting female passersby to "show their tatas" [he really likes to embarrass Alex like this]. No one did, of course, but its still funny. After telling me about the fish they both caught & saw , Fred, my wonderful and often entertaining husband, proceeds to tell me that he took a couple swigs of water. On the second swig, he gargles it. Alex asked him why he did so. As Alex proceeds to take a drink of juice, Fredward says he gargled because his penis was itchy. Alex nearly shoots juice through his nose, and regurgitated all of his juice back into its container.

Morals? Yea, I've got nothing. Laughter? Oh boy, I've got tons. Why don't you sit right round here, and listen to the FLARP. It really is quite funny!